jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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