you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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