On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
