awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
