that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
