I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize