we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
