Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
