I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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