i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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