she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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