so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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