Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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