My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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