in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
