I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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