I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
