guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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