My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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