All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize