I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize