i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I didn't notice because vodka
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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