I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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