I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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