she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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