I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Never joke about your clitoris.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
