video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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