I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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