you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
