How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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