I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
