I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
