new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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