there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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