So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
