awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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