That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the day after is always just damage control
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
