walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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