you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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