Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
