went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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