Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
