Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
