how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
