he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
