I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
