I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
