"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
