I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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