omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
