mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
