She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
is it fun? or sober?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
