I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
