look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
