i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
