so let's talk penis.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
