we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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