if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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