just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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