Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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