your parents love me but you hate me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have post one night stand depression
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
