Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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