Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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