is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
