so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
two words: eviction party
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
