this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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