bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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