I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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