is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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