am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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