Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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