sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
