...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
