Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
