no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
