You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
