it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize