I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
