dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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