At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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