Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
