Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
