What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
